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Tutorial Tuesday – Identity Art!

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I stumbled upon this the other day and about died. 

What is it?  Oh, just a copy of your DNA!!  That you can hang.  ON THE WALL!!  How cool is that?  PLUS, if you’re ever the subject of foul play, the cops could just come and grab the picture off the wall and you they wouldn’t have to wait those pesky 3 weeks or whatever.  Apparently, it’s not like CSI, you guys.  It takes a while for those kinds of results.

They also have:

Fingerprints.  GAH!  I want them!  Of course…they’re not cheap.  But then, this literally appeared in my inbox.  Literally.

DONE!!  And when I say done, I mean that I’ve already stamped and scanned our fingerprints.  Not technically done, I guess.  Half done.  Quasi done.  Okay, not done.  In progress.  But I think I’m going to Yudu mine onto some fabric and make a pillow instead of creating something to hang on the wall.  My queue of things to hang on the wall has gotten a little over the top. 

OH, and if you decide to get the real deal, they also do lip prints and ancestry portraits.  After reading the blurb of what exactly an ancestry portrait is, I’m left more confused than when I started reading the blurb.  It makes me feel a little nervous that in the near future, we’re all going to have bar codes tattooed on us.  And that it’s going to be a mandate from government.  It’s just a matter of time, people!


The Penny Wall is FAMOUS!

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You guys, I’m (the penny wall, really) being featured on the blog Remodelaholic!!!!! [Insert ear-exploding scream here]!!!!  Should I go ahead and quit my day job?  Probably, right?  I mean, I’ll have to give them two weeks and stuff.

Regardless, you all get it.  The penny wall is super sexy.  “She’s” the Joan Holloway of penny walls.  They couldn’t resist “her.”

Straight.  Up.  Sexy.

Tuesday Tutorial – Curtains!

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OK.  I know that making curtains must be pretty easy.  It basically consists of hemming a rectangle or something.  But I’ve never tried it.  And now…I need one.  You’re going to laugh when I tell you why.  Plants.  “But, Lizzie,” you say, “you kill plants with the greatest of ease!”  I know I do.  BUT, during a recent Target run, Ryan ran across something he wanted.  I’m a little embarrassed to say what it is because it makes us both look a little weird.  Regardless, here I go…cat grass.  No, I don’t mean we’re growing weed in our apartment.  Ryan read that it’s good for cats to eat grass because [whatever reason he said – I can’t remember].  Of course, they’re packaged in hideous little throw-away containers.  Ugh.  But I just kinda thought that he’d either forget about them completely or that they’d join the circle of life that most plants do in our apartment and would quickly die.  Apparently, Ryan isn’t nearly the killer of plants that I am and when he gets an idea in his head, he makes it happen.  You guys, that dumb grass is growing like nuts.  And to make matters worse, he plunked the plastic containers WITH PAPER PLATES UNDERNEATH on the kitchen window sill so that they can get some light in the black hole that is our apartment.  And not even cute Ikea paper plates.  The kind with grapes and grape leaves.  Blecht.  See below:

(Side note – do you eat off paper plates a lot?  I’m not talking to those of you who have small children or are having huge backyard barbeques.  I get eating off of paper plates then.  I don’t get it when it’s dinner and SOMEONE (I won’t say who – Ryan) insists on using a paper plate so that he doesn’t dirty a real plate.  What?  Why do we own real plates?  Has our old and slightly chipped Target dinnerware suddenly become fine china that is only to be hauled out for fancy celebrations?  Every day with me is a celebration!!!! (I can’t even say that with a straight face).  What is the next step in this process – we just start pouring food directly down our gullets so that we don’t dirty our hands and lips?  I am a civilized human being and, after a long day of work, I’d like to sip my expensive champagne (diet soda) out of a flute (regular glass) instead of a red cup.  Red cups are reserved for the times when a group of us are roaming the neighborhood hiding our alcoholic drinks from the police.  Duh.  Plus, we have a dishwasher.  And by dishwasher, I don’t mean my two hands and some dish soap!  GAH!  I digress…)

ANYWAY, to top things off, our apartment came fully loaded with those dreaded vertical blinds (can someone tell me why those things have to be so ugly?) and the view from our kitchen window is the neighbor across the parking garage looking out his kitchen window.  Like 25 feet away.  I’ll admit that I’m very bad spatially, so it could be 50 or 100 feet.  We’ll just leave it at being very close.  You can kinda see it in the picture above – that’s the neighbor’s balcony in the background.  So, since Ryan put the too-large containers (on paper plates – grrrrr) on the too-small window sill, it is virtually impossible to shut the blinds.  And THAT means, I have to see the neighbor when I’m rinsing a pot in the sink.  Naked.  HA!  Kidding.  I don’t do dishes naked.  The world hopes…  Is this all too confusing or are you getting a mental picture?

ANYWAY, this led me to some research and I came up with two DIY ideas – short curtains or a roman shade. 

Roman shades.  These seem like the best idea, but…when the mini blinds came out in the tutorial, my eyes glazed over a bit.  Still a definite possibility.

Lined curtains.  I think I could pull these off.  But in order for the whole privacy/plant light (stupid photosynthesis) thing to work, a curtain might be a bit wonky to make work.  It would basically have to be open which would defeat the purpose.


Cheater roman shades.  Done.  Anything that makes me feel like I’m getting away with something is always a plus.  And I would LOVE this fabric which is, irritatingly enough, a sheet.  Whatever. 

I may have to “live with” the vertical blinds for a little while since I’m backed up with projects.  Until then, I’ll be doing a lot of pretending that I don’t see my neighbor while he’s sitting 10 feet (200 feet?) away from me on his balcony.

Penny Wall…CHECK!

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I honestly wasn’t sure this thing would ever get finished. Someone asked about it the other day which caused me to look back at the original post and I almost gasped when I saw it was from last May. GASPED! That’s not cool. Granted, it was a pretty big project. But it lit a fire under me which, to his chagrin, I lit under Ryan.

Here’s a before picture. Ryan put down some plywood so that we wouldn’t have to glue the pennies directly to the wall. We are renters, after all.

True to form, this is the only picture I have. Stupidly, I didn’t take any during pictures. Honestly, you guys, I SWEAR I did, but I cannot find them anywhere in my iPhoto library. Of course, I did have to wade through a LOT of Comic-Con pictures (thanks, Ryan). And, I’ll admit, probably 500 pictures of Ralph. He’s super cute. You’d totally understand if you knew him. ANYWAY, this is the only before picture I could find.


And here’s one of the reasons it took us so long:

They’re all heads up and faces forward! Well, as close to that as possible. Four score and seven years ago, INDEED! Plus, each one is glued separately. We started out using my trusty glue gun, but when it became Ryan’s turn (it got more difficult at the halfway point and I think he was afraid I’d somehow spaz out and fall from a step stool or something), he decided to just use Elmer’s glue. He said it worked just as well as (update:  he says BETTER than) the glue gun. I could have screamed since I had a few third degree burns (okay, just some reddened skin) from putting hot glue on every single penny. My delicate hands are ruined. My dream of being a hand model is now lost forever…

All in all, it was a little over $50 in pennies. Ryan’s grandma was nice enough to supply AT LEAST $20 worth. The rest we bought. Did you know that the bank “sells” $25 BOXES of pennies? Well, they do.

Side note – how do you like all of our fancy decanters? We started collecting them before we got married. And my new Liquor poster? Cool, right? My brother (from another mother) is making an awesome frame for it. I can’t wait!!

It’s actually come to fruition

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“Where are we?” you’re probably asking.  The Shire?  Have I taken you to a dreamland of magic?  Brigadoon?  Kinda.  It’s my new terrarium, you guys!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I actually did it!!!  As you may notice, I didn’t use the glass thingy that I had initially.  I know, I know.  Upon further study, it just seemed like it would make a better vase than a terrarium.  The holes were just so dang tiny!  So, I sucked it up and bought a kit from Etsy (side note – the seller was super nice and I highly recommend her).  The only thing I’m sad about is the fact that the little figurine  (aaahahahahahah, right?) I bought was a little too big to fit.  Boooooo.  But don’t worry.  I’m on the hunt for something new.  I’ll keep you updated.

Tutorial Tuesday – Felt Rug!

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I know I just posted about a rug last week.  And what’s even funnier is the fact that I need a rug like a hole in the head.  Need is such an ugly word, though.  Want is the new need.  In my book anyway.

So, check this out. 

Did your heart explode?   Mine did.  It’s SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO pretty!!  It’s from Anthropologie (duh) and costs…wait for it…between $700 and $1,100.  Apparently it’s made out of children’s tears.  Or angel’s wings.  Or something like that.  I mean, that’s gotta be the reason it’s so expensive.  But run out and buy two while they’re in stock!  I’ll wait here until you come back…


But since this blog is not just a way to bestow all my wonderful and expressive thoughts upon you, I’ve searched the world over and found a mother grubbing “cheat.”  Well, I saw the cheat before I saw the Anthropologie rug.  I sound like I’m saying “I liked [insert band name here] WAY before they were popular.”  You know, the hipster mantra.  ANYWAY…

Right?!  It’s felt scraps!  Felt scraps and…glue (gun-style).  That’s it!  The only tricky part is this – the tutorial page is a little wonky right now (I SWEAR I’m not sending you purposely to something that looks like a Viagra advertisement), but hopefully it’ll be back up and ready for reading by the time this posts.  So irritating…  At the end of the day, though, it’s just wrapping and glueing the felt strips.  You really don’t “need” a tutorial.

Oh brother.  I can already feel myself giving in to the idea of making one.  I could just make one of the jersey knit latch hook rugs and one of these.  I’m practicing my pitch to Ryan.  Poor guy…


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OK.  I’m going to admit something that’s a little sad.  I’m not a big reader.  I know, I know.  I used to read a lot more than I currently do.  In fact, I actually got a library card a couple of years ago and would CHECK BOOKS OUT!  Like, on the regular.  Oh, and I’d also like to admit that the books I always chose were pretty trashy.  Not TRASHY trashy.  Things like Bridget Jones’ Diary.  Light fiction.  I’m not a big fan of non-fiction.  I LIVE non-fiction.  It’s not fun.  Anyway, it’s a moot point now as most of my free time is spent crafting. 

SO, that being said, I obviously don’t have a lot of books lying around the house (Ha!  House…).  But of the ones I want to keep, I don’t want to stash them away somewhere.   There’s no space to stash books in the shoebox apartment (or “house”) where we currently reside.  I decided to ram them on the top of the bookshelf Ryan made.  They were quite unsightly, honestly.  It was a mish mash of chick lit, photo albums and Ryan’s “Electrical Work for Dummies” type of books.  It was an eyesore to me.  Blerg.

Of course, during my blog surfing, I saw a post somewhere about different ways to display books.  Fiction/non-fiction, alphabetically, by subject, etc.  And then I saw it.  The idea that was for me:

BY COLOR!!!!  Granted, it’s still a little unsightly with all the different sizes, but I like it SO much better.  Don’t you?!  Actually, don’t answer that.  I really don’t care what you think. 

PS – how do you like the picture of Beatnik Ted?  Oh, and there’s unused terrarium container I talked about.  It’s on the top shelf.  Still taunting me.